January 3, 2009
When did I swallow two red golf balls? In my sleep? And why do they have dime sized white spots? I check my insurance and find that HEB has a nurse practitioner clinic that I can go to on Sat...I gotta get in now!!!! Yay Strep Throat. The nurse looked visibly grossed out by my throat. When he looked in my ears I said, "Hey, is there a wax plug in that one?" He said yes and asked if I wanted it removed.
"Boy howdy, there is nothing more that I would like than to get the wax plug removed! Happy NY to me!!!" - which I didn't say out loud.
Yes, please remove it. He pulls out some tool and starts to tug, at which point I experience such a sharp pain that I jerk away from him. The look on his face was priceless...a mixture of sedate and mostly hidden amusement and concern that he may have hurt me. I, on the other hand, was probably hissing at him with my paws in the air and my shoulders raised....a little angered badger. Ear wax badger.
THAT was the point that he described how the wax had been there a while and that it was going to tear the skin "a leeeetle bit", so "prepare yourself, and stay still..."
Arrrrrrrrrrrrggghh! Come on dude!!! He got it. As he was writing up my prescription for antibiotics I noticed that my hearing was lessening. He simply said, "That's okay, your ear is just filling up with blood." Again, REALLLY???? Alright. So I go to the Pharmacy to put in my script and they give me a timeline of 30 minutes.
What is a better use of my 30 minutes than to sit in the waiting area as the Golem....terrorizing families. When the blood started pouring out of my ear I looked at the lady next to me and said,
"Ebola..."
I should have smiled so as to not be gruesome and to show the joke...but I didn't really care. She got up and moved. In fact, everyone who came into the waiting area moved away from me. When I got home I decided that I had to do the unthinkable...let my folks take my baby dog for a couple of days. She needs her longer walks and they love watching her...so Dad comes to pick her up.
As he was about to leave I said, "Look at how swollen my glands are...my whole throat is like a tube. Here, feel my glands." He suddenly stopped looking like my Dad, but instead looked like a grossed out little boy. He simply said, "I don't want to." ...with no feet stamping, but almost.
My little puppy Leelu and Dad were pulled away and I said to my father through his window, "Can Leelu get Strep from me?" Dad thought for a moment and then said, "Hmmm, I don't think so...unless you were french kissing her." I told him that I hadn't done that since Tuesday, so she should be okay. We laughed, he drove off, I've been napping.
I'm hoping the rest of 2009 goes up hill. I didn't think I would have already heard the comment,
"That's okay. Your ear is just filling up with blood." (I kinda think it's funny...even though I still can't really hear out of it.)
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4 comments:
I can't help but think of Shrek when you talk about removing earwax. Did you have candles made of the wax. too?
Congrats on the puppy! Pics pics!
omg, i laughed so hard (with intermittent coughs). ebola! weird, though, sarah beth just had blood pouring from her ears, too. maybe it's the new trend...
JESUS GOD! Are you okay now?! You gave me punctured ear drum flashbacks. You are a wry lady, even at the clinic holding your bloody ear. love it. gunna follow your blog :).
my ear filled up with blood once too, but it was only after my sadu (or more commonly known as "conch") was pierced by a 12 gauge needle and then the jewelry removed promptly afterwards because the angle didn't match the other one. It's amazing how much we suffer for beauty sometimes. Hope you are feeling better my dear!
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