Monday, October 12, 2009

Independence = Pumps and Strappy High Heels

Originally uploaded by
As I write this I am being handed a decaf and a Tramadol by my mother while I sit in bed....smacked in face by the stark white computer screen while I lounge in the middle of a comfy softly lit guestroom.

This is my home for another month as I recover from hip surgery. My place is two stories...with both full baths upstairs. My Man's is a condo near downtown onthe third floor. Oh, and I have a dog that needs walking. All of this leads to me staying with the fam.

It's amazing how little you can appreciate independance until it is gone. Apparently I am STRONGLY independant and was not really that aware of it.

Now, to be fair, my situation with the parents could not be better. I like them and they like eachother....and we laugh alot...except not about the blog "fiction" I wrote the entry before this. Mom was not amused.

Observations during a convalescence:

1. I have worn heels for so much of my adult life that I literally feel as if I am falling backwards when I wear flats. My pants are all dragging on the floor when I don't have the heels on.

2. I have spent a majority of my life making fun of people in flip flops and going on and on about how "if you wore those to a punk show with liberty spikes in my day, you would have had your ass kicked." My most comfy shoes right now are flip flops.

3. Stairs are a luxury. Being able to run up and down my stairs at my place 6 or 7 times in an evening is nothing. "Oh, I need to get an index card." "Oh, I don't want to wear this shirt anymore...I want one from upstairs." "Oh, I don't remember what I need, but it's upstairs." I simply cannot get up there quicker than a minute or two, and can't carry anything in either direction.

4. I want a coffee. I can make it in the kitchen. I can stand there and look at it, because I cannot carry it anywhere to drink it.

5. Food. See number 4.

6. Intimate adult time....if we are talking about watching a movie on my laptop with my special man friend in the guestroom as my Mom continually drops in to bring snacks and tea...then Intimate Adult Time is perfect. If we are talking about anything else...then it's a bust.

7. Doors are hard to open. If they are heavy at all I have to hop in the way after I fling it open and stop it closing with my body.

8. Children are staring at me. I makes me want to do one of two things. First, I should act like a professional athlete would got hurt and have a great attitude and smile and pat the kid on the head and tell them to take their vitamins. Second I want to smack em in the shin with my crutch and then say, 'Oh NOOOOOO....what did I do?????" hehehe

9. If you pick a fight with your captor you cannot get away. Remember that movie Misery...

10. It's only another month....I'll survive. And as soon as I can put on the crazy shoes....oh, I'm putting them on!


crAsh said...

Are you familiar with Steve Martin's "The Cruel Shoes"?

monkeyrind said...

ooooh....I am now! Thanks CR!

crAsh said...

I am very fond of the entire book, and recommend it highly:
It's out of print, but can still be had, or probably found in the library ;)